Jokes Of The Day.

Funny Truth- No one is as ugly as their driving license/ identity card picture,
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Nor as good-looking as their Facebook profile pic..!
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Height Of Confidence :
Once Many Professors Were Called And Asked To Sit In An Aeroplane
After They Sat, They Were Informed That The Plane Is Made By Their Students.
All Of Them Ran N Got Out Of Plane Expect One
People Asked Him The Reason He Said, If Its Made By My Students, IT WONT EVEN START !!
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If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates:
Cockroach: Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!
Chicken: If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC. Love you all ♥
Octopus: I have just refilled my ink..horray!! ^_^
Goat : Friends, don’t go out, Eid holiday is coming :’(
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Wikipedia: I know everything
Google: I have everything
Facebook: I know evertbody
Internet: Without me u are nothing
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Electricity: Keep Talking…………..
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                                                             My Favorite
HEIGHT OF BRANDING:
A rich girl was walking by the river in the jungle & suddenly saw a crocodile.
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She screamed:OH MY GOD… “LACOSTE”
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Jokes OF The Day.

Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
John : BA Professor:For sodium?
John: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
John: BANANA
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3 men were talking…..
first man – “books influence us a lot……
when my wife was expecting,
she read THE TALE OF TWO CITIES and she gave birth to twins….”
second man – “yes, you are right.. when my wife was expecting, she
read THE THREE MUSKETEERS
and she gave birth to triplets….”
Hearing this, the third man fainted….
when he regained his senses, the other two men asked
him what happened…..
The third man replied…
“my wife is expecting and she is reading
ALI BABA AND THE
FORTY THIEVES”
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father to son: hey why don’t u go and study?
son: what for?
father: u’ll get good marks
son: then?
father: u’ll get good salary
son: then?
father: u’ll get big house and a car
son: then?
father: u’ll relax
son: what do u think i am doing right now….
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teacher to student : If u give 100$ 2 ur friend but he needs only 50$,so how much will he return u ?
Student : Nothing
Teacher : u dont know maths ?
Student : u dont know my friends….
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Chinese Vs Spielberg

A Chinese walks into a Restaurant  in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,
“You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.”

The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese”.
”Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,”replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,
“You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”Shocked,
Spielberg replies, “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”

The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re
all the same.”